Avery Dauer Articles ⚆ _ ⚆

2024

Local “Furries” Open up Opportunities for the sexually deviant [Found in “Articles”]

In revolting local developments I have recently learned that the Liberal agenda has finally reached our chaste and righteous society of Hempstead. I recently came across a series of flyers in and around the campus of Hofstra University advertising the need for a third sexual partner to enter the sacred marriage between two employees at the university, Kate and Willie Pride as well as  detailing the depths to which their coital transgressions. I was even more appalled when I discovered that not only are these unholy deviants employees of educational institutions but in fact represent the school at each and every sporting event, often interacting with children and serving as the primary vector of their experience at each and every sporting event! Do you really want your children to run up and embrace a couple who last Tuesday from 1:00am to 1:00pm engaged in “wax play” and who are self proclaimed “switches.”

At first I began to sympathize with these poor souls as due to their abnormal appearances I assumed that they had to be afflicted by some horrible mental affliction that influenced their disturbing behavior. However to my horror and through conversations with my wonderful son Cooper I have now learned that the liberal agenda has caused our children to develop a social media trend known as being a “furry” I am now concerned that the students and families of Hofstra University are being slowly turned into sexually crazed Animorphs bent on destroying our beautiful community.