From The Green Issue.
Wow, hello, I can’t believe I’m saying this again but, welcome to this issue of Nonsense Humor Magazine. After all of the run-ins with SGA and the entire student body’s continued apathy/lack of support/general disgust towards us I thought somebody would have just brought us out back like a group of old dogs and put us out of our misery by now. But, here I am, writing my last editorial for this magazine that has put me through the most uh… interesting past 4 years of my life.
I honestly never thought that I’d get to write another editorial for this magazine again. I really thought that every single person on the staff would leave me cold and alone in the back of the student center while I waited for OSLA to finally pull the plug on the whole operation. I assumed that as soon as someone found out I (allegedly) was responsible for getting a teenage boy to have sex with a jar of marshmallow fluff and shotgun a four loko (separate events (both for research)) they’d lock me up in Hofstra jail (ABP during lunch time, am i right guys?? lmao). At any rate, we are still safe (for now) and ready to begin a whole new year of bad photoshops, SGA hearings, drastic staff changes, and public safety brief shout outs. And hey, aren’t you guys lucky?? You’ve decided to give us a chance and check out this very special “green” issue.
Now, when I say “green” issue, I’m not talkin' environmentally friendly. I’m talkin’ greeeeen. That green stuff, that good good, those dollar bills, etc. Green makes Hofstra and the rest of the world go round! So, we over here at Nonsense Humor took on the task of getting down to the root of all things green.
I am delighted to inform you all that the future of this magazine is looking bright. This new 2015-2016 staff is now being led by TWO Nonsense all-stars, Heather Levinsky, and Zach Johnson. Two people who I firmly believe will help this publication gain the respect it deserves from this university and lift the curse that rests upon us. We’ve also got a new design director in charge of making all of these [issue] pages look good, freshman Gill Pitzer, who has already proved themselves to be very good at their job. This staff is more well organized than a Nonsense staff has been in a long time and I couldn’t be any more proud of this group of actual miscreants.
This magazine has been my life for 4 years now and has taught me everything I know about what it means to be a part of a creative community. It has shown me how very important a club like Nonsense is to Hofstra University. This place needs people like these to investigate what actually is going on here. Are you all aware that there is actually something called a “master plan” in place by the administration?? I’m not kidding about that and you can read about it in an upcoming issue of this magazine.
But seriously you guys, I am very sad to let this thing go. We made many mistakes and just as many accomplishments together these past few years. I didn’t get to do everything I wanted to for this magazine in the time I was editor but there was and is still so much work to be done in order to make this thing excellent. Thank you to all of you reading this right now, and thank you to the people who are hate-reading this because our haters are most certainly our motivators. I love you all. Bernie Sanders 2016.